They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
