The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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