Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have tasted many bathrooms
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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