I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
