Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
