I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize