i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
