She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
