Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
