I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
