That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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