Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
