Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

you really are a gigantic fucking slut.

(614): View more from Ohio

sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text

(1-614): View more from Ohio

it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?

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(512): View more from Texas

stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.

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(409): View more from Texas

It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.

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(916): View more from California

He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(406): View more from Montana

She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that

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(613): View more from Ontario

You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.

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(310): View more from California

This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment

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