I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
