ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
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I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
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What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.