I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
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I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
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One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.