Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
