its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
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