Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i think i just lost a toe
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
