piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
