I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
