dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society