Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.