I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.