So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
