I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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