I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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