i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
