Plan B is the new Plan A
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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