I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
