forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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