i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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