Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
