today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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