So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
