so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize