I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
