We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
