i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
