My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She even gives head with a lisp.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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