Heybabeimwearingurpanties
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he thought i was a dude.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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