So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
