No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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