I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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