I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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