The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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