I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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