My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish i was in the wii world.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
