You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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