Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
