first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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