Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
