I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
