Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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