she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
