I wish I could punch you in the face.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
