Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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