Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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