i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
