I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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