He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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