Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
