dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
