That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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