your room smells of hookers.
And success
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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