that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
