You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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