I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
